The most popular coping strategy is… none. We usually concentrate on external actions and ignore emotions if we can. Let the trail of emotions vanish on its own. Until emotional interference is too much.
The other productivity culture deformation is we would rather manage how we look than how we feel. Demonstrate positive behaviors while suppressing not-so-positive emotions.
If we choose to ignore, mask an emotion or apply a band-aid — we are under its influence. The causes of emotion, obsolete beliefs, and bad habits impact our judgment.
Two habits
If you ignore the influence and follow a suboptimal choice — you invest in two habits:
- Repeat the unwanted emotion and make it stronger
- Disempower yourself, give up growth, and constructive engagement.
Examples of quick fixes:
- divert attention to rewarding distractions
- suppress by substances
- physical exercises, a walk
- extreme experiences
In our “critical feedback on a meeting” example:
- I may take a time-out, take a walk, or call someone to support me
- divert my attention to important tasks at work
- I eventually forget about the incident, and the emotion subsides
- but in the aftermath, it impacts all future interactions with the manager
Mind’s resistance — diminishing returns of quick fixes
The effect of any quick fix wanes with time. We need higher dosages and stronger distractions. The mind resists suppression and diversions. The causes of unwanted reactions are getting stronger with each repetition. Eventually, external means cannot cope. The reaction breaks out.
Validation of negative reactions and quick fixes
People you consider your support network may validate your destructive reactions. Agree with your version of events and tell you it is natural to feel fear or anger in such a situation.
Their good intentions are undermined by their version of help. Their obsolete outlook supports the causes of unwanted reactions. So one hand is fueling the fire of emotions, and the other is trying to cope with them.
Addictions and damage to health
It is not just about substances or diet. Any rewarding activity can generate dopamine. We get addicted to things that provide relief and start overindulging.
Quick fixes as part of a long-term strategy
Quick fixes can become a part of the solution. If your intention is not to escape the symptoms but to tackle the causes. For example, create conditions for reframing practice.
Quick fixes isolate triggers and temporarily extinguish reactions caused by them. Thus, help us stabilize, and recharge. Ensure effective practice or at least partially support constructive engagement.
But, if you only quick fix symptoms, and avoid dealing with causes — reactions repeat and become stronger. As do the causes.
