People usually know if we are sincere with them.
So why would anyone “intentionally model” empathy or any other “good” behavior (unless it is integral)?
Natural, sincere behaviors
If our empathy or “active listening” is a natural, zero-other-agendas behavior — we do not need to “demonstrate” it. The empathy that is rooted in compassion as our true priority value — is an authentic outcome.
If not, however… If we need to “intentionally” force our thoughts to do “what’s expected from a good person,” but serve our hidden agenda (like influencing people). We may get tactical “wins” but lose strategically.
Modeling a fake behavior is reciprocal
What you show is what you get back. Lack of integrity kills trust.
Even if we manipulate someone into self-deception, it will not last long.
Even worse if we manipulated ourselves into self-deception, believing our intentions are good, turn a blind eye to our implicit motivation.
Overcoming self-awareness limitations
Even if our self-awareness is inaccurate, there’s a simple litmus paper of a hidden agenda — our state of mind. We feel destructive emotions, tension, discomfort, lack of clarity, and thoughts are “heavy,” restless, and unfocused.
Integrity is our default setting. Hence, any loss of it is unpleasant and palpable.