Why are people “exhausting?”
Or is it mostly us — self-draining ourselves?
Many of us are limiting social connections, and finding ourselves in “energy-saving mode.”
Why?
We don’t know how to engage without a coinciding stream of draining mental activity. Plus we maintain energy black holes in between interactions. Hence — the escape, limiting interactions because we have no energy for contacts.
Solution
Even “toxic” people can be less exhausting if we are not triggered by them, and remain neutral.
Reduce mutual emotional problems — fears, polarized views, “sore spots.” The resonance escalates destructive reactions and causes energy loss (besides other unintended consequences).
For example, if you are prone to anxiety, another person’s fear can trigger it and cause energy drain. Self-awareness will help you identify the change so that you can manage the reaction, reframe, etc.
After contact
Sometimes it is easier to notice the impact after the contact rather than during the meeting, phone call, or even digital interaction. You may experience a change of mood, emotional “aftertaste,” tiredness, or even a change of vitals.
The influence may last for quite a while unless you attend to the problem that resonated.
Can you be draining others?
Sometimes, despite your best intentions, you too become a source of emotional contagion, “toxic”. Unresolved emotional issues may impact others, even inadvertently.
It is great if you can notice the problem and restore your baseline. When you are balanced, you are also in shape to help others.
“Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.”
It is worth checking your state of mind before trying to help others. Make sure your own agitation does not disrupt your effort and provoke unintended consequences.
Important note, even if you suppress or hide a negative emotion, its causes may still interfere with your efforts to help others.
If you are balanced, your motivation is constructive, and untainted by implicit agendas it is much easier for others to “tune in.”
